Trust is a Gift
"Trust me," they say, but why should I trust you? What makes you worthy of my trust or anyone's trust? What value do you actively place upon the table for faith to flourish and suspicion to subside?
Are you one to trust others at 110% from the beginning, or are you a skeptic, forcing people into the, "Earn It," category? Why? Most people who trust by default, do so because they have faith in humanity at some level, whereas those who do not, fail to see the good in humanity or life in general, usually due to some unfortunate personal experience(s). Perhaps they've been disappointed or hurt too many times to count, they've simply moved into a space of automatic protective self-preservation mode so not to be disappointed and or hurt when deceit rears it's ugly head. However, there are also those cases where trust is given at 110% and then abused or taken for granted, inspiring people to lose faith and or respect for the other person. Trust can also be restored and earned when people show up for others in meaningful ways. The point is, trust is powerful medicine, one of the primary ingredients that can either make or break any healthy relationship and the possibility for quality life experiences.
Why do I love my animals more than most humans? Easy, they are unconditional reciprocity, loyalty, honesty, support, protection, love and respect. They are ride or die at any given moment, regardless of whether I'm absent for 5 minutes, 5 hours or 5 days, they are always consistent and honest in their responses and reactions to me. I respect them and they respect me. They listen attentively, we teach one another every day. Humans have the same capabilities, they either choose to show up or not to show up for others in the same honorable ways. The way people trust themselves, is often an indicator as to how they not only trust others, but also how they themselves behave. How people behave, react and respond to others is often a direct link to what plays within their mind, which is why it's critical to pay close attention to the behaviors of others, to decide whether they can be trusted or not; whether their preferred behavior suits our individual needs, desires and or highest good.
Trust begins within ourselves. Perspective and behavior run parallel and frequently cross paths, which is why the concept of trust is so important for each of us to grasp in responsible respectful ways. In order to behave in healthy and supportive ways, to continue to evolve in bountiful ways with those we care about, not only for ourselves, but also for strangers and our loved ones alike, we must determine our personal values and understand how trust influences the way we react and respond to and with others. How we think, often inspires our behavior. This behavior influences the reactions and responses of others.
When we as individuals authentically ask ourselves whether we value the way our behavior impacts other people, we allow ourselves the opportunity to value others outside of ourselves. For example, a narcissist or those individuals with narcissistic personality traits, care little about anything or anyone else outside of themselves and their own selfish interests. Therefore, they will always think about themselves first with little to no remorse regarding their behavior or the damage it creates. I call these people, "Self Helpers," they help others to help themselves. A narcissist will always validate or justify their behavior and gaslight another person for questioning them or their behavior. Narcissists have little to zero remorse for anything they do because their priority is always themselves. They are chronically selfish. These often charming individuals are a nightmare and will stab you in the back without hesitation to get what they want. Choose your battles wisely in this arena.
As people move into higher self-awareness, self love and respect, they often begin to embrace more compassionate and empathetic internal dialogue; they begin to consider the thoughts and feelings of other people. Once a person begins to consider what it might feel like to walk in another person's shoes, the reality of how their behavior impacts others begins to sink in. Respect and kindness begin to evolve, they begin to trust based on a common understanding of reciprocity; balance. "Treat others the way you wish to be treated." Humans can be extremely selfish creatures by default and unless they directly feel the pain or loss of something, they often ignore or walk around oblivious to reality. They also have a tendency to self-sabotage everything around them if they keep themselves locked away within an unhealthy wounded mind. This is where paranoia, judgment, insecurity, fear and control tend to destroy individuals and their relationships.
If a person is behaving in sketchy or dishonest ways, it is natural for anyone with common sense to become suspicious and to question their behavior, especially where red flags are concerned. Blatant disrespect is guaranteed to create conflict. However, if a person is strictly creating stories within their own busy mind, obsessively assuming, consumed by unresolved issues, behaving in erratic and disrespectful ways due to pure fear, resentment, trauma, control issues and insecurity, it is only a matter of time before the wounded one destroys every relationship that means anything to them. This level of chronic negativity and projecting is exhausting and infuriating for innocent people to have to deal with day after day. When good people bend over backwards to love the ones they love, only to be disrespected, distrust and disconnection are the result. No one with healthy self-love and awareness wants to love someone who cannot or will not love them with the same reciprocity.
Trust is a gift, what we do with it is up to us. How we think, behave, react, respond and treat other people are some of the most valuable choices we will ever be blessed with as humans. We have the power to either care or not to consider ourselves and others as being valuable. What we do, how we do things, the questions we ask or don't ask, they all matter where our relationships and quality of life are concerned. When we show up for ourselves, we show up for others. When we show up for others, others show up for us, based on the quality of our trust. Whether I see a person once a day or once every two years, I know who I can trust; that is what matters to me. Not that I see or talk to a person every day, but that when I need someone, I know they're there and vice versa. Choose the ones you trust wisely, they will either stand by your side or stab you in the back and leave you in the dust when it matters the most.