Search

How Do You Love : Selfishly or Selflessly

Have you ever sat with yourself for just a moment to deeply consider how you love? Are you a consistently inconsiderate scoundrel, a moderate scoundrel or kind and compassionate? When you look into the eyes of something or someone you, "love," what does that authentically mean to you? What does that feel like to you and how do you react and respond to that? How do you authentically regard that thing or person? Do you claim to love, but consistently disregard your loved one's thoughts and or feelings to satisfy your own first; whether openly or deceivingly? Do you willingly meet this person or thing you claim to "love," in the middle as often as possible? Are you sincere, loving, kind, honest, open (that's the entire point, caring in order to flourish together)? Or do you tend to leave room for error, disruptions? Meaning, do you behave in ways that self sabotage?


Is your behavior, more habit, coping mechanism, self-soothing, premeditated or pure obliviousness? Regardless, your behavior directly impacts the fluidity and functionality of both your internal operating system and the world around you. You must maintain and service your behavior regularly. It's like wearing out the timing belt or blowing a gasket on your vehicle's engine. If you drive your vehicle hard, you will require more repairs and replacements. If you regularly service your vehicle, it will continue to deliver you safely to many remarkable destinations. Being attentive and mindful of the way your mind and body are functioning is the key to a comfortable ride.


If you're killing it at life right now, fantastic! Continue to check in as necessary for additional insight for the soul aka, "Happy reminders," as one of my favorite humans, Timothy McCracken, would say. If you're currently riding the struggle bus, consider a few of these things first. Most of us, have all of the answers right in the palm of our hands, we just don't understand the process, the tools or how to use them in order to solve certain problems. If you wish to solve a problem you have to consider the issue(s), components and possible outcomes to discover the answer(s).


The right and left side of the brain are two different hemispheres, two balancing components within this wrapper of skin that compliments our human body. These two hemispheres are responsible for different functions, emotions, movements, responses and reactions as neurons fire from within. It's very important #1, to know that your physical condition is in tact; for example, you didn't smack your head really hard. Seriously. Do you have poor behavior due to injury? It's a valid point.


Head injuries, brain damage, dehydration, starvation, unhealthy diet directly impact the ability to think clearly. Speaking from personal experience, working directly with my own personal brain injuries for multiple years, I continue to practice formulating speech, proper grammar, remembering words and how to transition them into thought then into vocal expression. It's a fascinating experience, being human; challenging, but doable. Maintaining our physical brain health is critical to ensure that our internal components are not damaged or compromised. If we want to understand the why behind our individual behavior, we must consider all things relevant.


If your head appears to be on relatively straight, but your internal components and dialogue still seem to be malfunctioning, triggering your CHECK ENGINE light, please read on :


+ What is the #1 issue causing you distress at the moment?

+ How did this/these situation(s) arise?

+ What is your role (authentically, not you lying to yourself to justify your behavior)?

+ What are the roles of those people or things involved?

+ Are you the trigger (be honest)?

- What is a trigger?

- Anything that influences the way you think or feel and directly inspires your behavior

in either positive or negative ways

+ Is the person or thing that you "love" the trigger?

- How are they triggering you?

- What specifically triggers you?

- Are you partially responsible for the way this person or thing you "love" is reacting,

responding or behaving? Hence creating disconnect in the relationship?

- If you were to chose to behave differently how would that inspire your situation

to change?

- What do you authentically desire?

- How do you actively create and support what you desire?

- How do you nurture and support the person or thing you "love?"

- How do you stay mindful to in order to feed and nurture yourself, the people

and things you love?

- Is your busy mind part of the problem?

- When you get stuck inside of your head what happens?

- Do your emotions spiral

- Do your thoughts inspire you to do things you later regret?

- Does your behavior directly influence the immediate environment

around you?

- Do your thoughts inspire you to feel negative or positive things?

+ What emotion(s) surface due to this/these situation(s)?

+ Are you pleased with how you currently feel?

+ Do you inspire others to react in positive or negative ways?

- What type of reactions in others do you inspire or trigger?

- How can you encourage more positive reactions and responses?

+ If you could change one thing about your behavior, what would it be?

- What would be the first thing you change to get closer to what you want to achieve?

+ If asked, the person or thing you "love" would describe you as?


SELFLESS : - Kind - Strong - Compassionate - Thoughtful - Generous

- Respectful - Dedicated - Loyal - Intelligent - Attentive - Ambitious

- Confident - Happy - Tender - Supportive - Patient - Willing


SELFISH : - Cold - Weak - Inconsiderate - Selfish - Greedy

- Abusive - Distracted - Angry - Clueless - Lazy - Insecure

- Helpless - Impatient - Unwilling - Intimidating - Controling


Take a few moments to think about your current head and heart space, REALLY think about your head and heart space. FEEL them. Remember, "Doing the same thing repeatedly, but expecting different results each time is the definition of insanity." - Einstein


Let me assist with setting the mood...



10 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All