Have you reached your breaking point? When the impact of circumstances or the behavior of other people tend to press you to the point of tolerating no more, what do you do? Do you get authentically and brutally honest with the situation at hand, do you move into BURST mode where communication and reactions are concerned? Do you share exactly what needs to be said or done during those moments when you reach your last straw? Do you actively dive into taking complete ownership for those things within your control? Do you bully or project onto others? Do you apologize when necessary? How does your breaking point impact you and others around you?
Coping mechanisms and behavioral patterns are fascinating to observe, but they can also be extremely frustrating to deal with when they negatively impact us and or others for no good reason. When derogatory behaviors negatively influence emotion and directly sway the direction or outcome of important things in unhealthy ways due to the nature of the action or response produced, taking the time to attend to the division is often essential to help resolve the downward spirals taking place. When negative reactions, responses, habits and coping mechanisms begin chipping away at the fundamental foundation necessary for healthy connection to flourish between people, taking the time to evaluate the decline within connection can be one of the absolute best gifts we can offer ourselves and others.
So back to the topic at hand, reaching your breaking point. How would you rate your current internal temperature gauge at the moment? Are you running cool, moderate or hot, regarding your current attitude? Do you feel cool as a pickle or resentful and pissed off? Are you enjoying a neutral state of mind? How do you feel, emotionally and or psychologically? Your mood impacts everything else around you whether you realize it or not; I know it can be a shock at first; but no, we do not control everything around us, being prepared for the unexpected to some degree, can be extremely valuable.
It's very important to understand how circumstances inspire us to feel and to behave if we truly want to understand ourselves and the world around us. When you're triggered do you typically transform into a complete scoundrel, or do you typically take the time to sit with things in order to process the situation prior to reacting and responding? Do you have a dragon that lives within you that comes out once in a blue-moon when boundaries are pushed beyond reason? Most people do. What happens to you when you reach the final straw?
Placing ourselves in the shoes of other people is one of my own personal mental toolbox favorites. When we find ourselves in compromised moods, one of the things that always helps my personal processor is doing just this because it frequently helps to form perspective in reasonable and functional ways. That doesn't always mean rainbows and unicorns, actually, sometimes it actually translates into being brutally honest. Sometimes, people actually thoroughly enjoy deflection and or manipulation-based responses as a way to cope because they satisfy a deep devotion to avoidance; an unwillingness to own up to personal behavior, the refusal to cope with things in reasonably healthy ways, instead consistently blaming other people for personal fears and or insecurities. On the other hand, when we think about what other people could be working through and it inspires us, those perspectives run rich with feel-good chemical releases like serotonin and dopamine. There are so many different reactions and responses to every plausible circumstance in the world so decide how you actually wish to feel.
If your breaking point tends to not only place you within the position of a complete tailspin, but also impacts other people while creating additional drama simultaneously, ask yourself why that is either okay with you or how long this has been impacting your life. Do you wish to shift gears? If you're willing and ready to make a change, and you know where your desired direction of travel is, how you WANT to feel, you're that much closer to getting there than you may think. When you find yourself feeling like you're about to blow a gasket, take a few seconds to make sure you're prepared for any consequences you may create by reacting and responding the way you're leaning towards. If you're completely confident in your responses, do what you need to do. If by taking a few short moments to just sit and chill out prior to projecting personal triggers onto others, we potentially avoid generating additionally destructive circumstances. If someone is projecting their breaking points onto you, set your personal boundaries the way you want and need them to serve you.
Remember, taking a few deep breaths to simply refocus on a completely separate experience, to focus on something outside of negative dialogue and reconnecting our thoughts to separate experiences, we give the mind a break to just hit the pause button for a moment to reset. Does this help? Feel free to contact me directly for individual session work and guidance.
Much love,
A.